Wating for this tide to turn

Hey there. No, don’t ask me if I’m okay. I’m getting there.

Please let me rest. For a while, that is.

I have a big struggle this week, and I can only ask Him this question. I know, the last weekend was a bomb, entirely, and I don’t know if this flu I caught was because of me overworking, or because of some stress because something new came around, and I was so anxious on having things worked out.

And I’m sure God gave me what I asked for. Really. And even now, as I type this, God allowed me to rest. Rest. Not sleep. Not quit. Because I know, there’s a big job to do, but I don’t have to carry all the burden.

I’ve been working in these ministries almost alone, as far as I can remember, and I carried these burdens like giant strollers I walk around with. Yeah, it rolls, but they still are heavy, and I always have to push and pull them around to get through. I know there were people who could have done the task as appointed to them, but I always think that there is “no too much work for the Lord” and overdoing things isn’t a crime.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. And another struggle of surfeit comes along. Especially when you’re choosing this from that, and then realize that the other was a better choice.

I know, I’ve been depriving myself of a lot of things lately, which results to a lot of random splurging just to make up for what I’ve lost. But no. I can only realize that all these splurging cannot amount to the times which I have enjoyed myself and my life, just because I’ve boxed myself up for something which sometimes, people are ungrateful for.

I needed change. I need to go. Out there. Somewhere. Wander. With my feet free and my mind just seeing all God’s beauty and glory through the streets and the crowd and the people outside the walls of the buildings we call church. I want to gain this freedom not just working from the inside. I want to go out. And expand His territories. And see the big beautiful world He made!

But of course, now, no.

If this tide will turn, I pray it will be different. That I have outgrown all my immaturity. That I will learn to trust others that they can, and they SHOULD do it. That I will face each oppression with a stout heart knowing I am in the right. That I know my place, what I deserve, and has a freedom to choose for the better of this life given to me. That I will be happier, more outgoing, pleasant-er, and eager to accept new things as if it were the rays of the sun beaming down on my cold head.

I pray, it will be different. A new perspective. A new courage. A new boldness. A new me.

C’mon Lord. Give me another full turn, much fuller than how You’ve swung it five years ago!

Image Source: Pinterest

Sleepyhead

Good morning, rain! I’ve been hearing soft drops early in the morning, and the memory of this year’s great flood actually entered my mind as I woke up, but then I knew it was nothing to be afraid of, for I slept again in peace. Hooray for my medicine–the drinkable ones and the hand of my Father, I manage to have a sleep-ful sleep. And now, bonjour to you!

Please excuse my naughty little snout, for I jumped from my bed, cleaned my face and the went on to the computer to check my mails. And yes, that’s how big my nose is!

And a big bonjour too, to my cup of chocolate coffee, which is becoming a family favorite concoction. I’m actually trying to stay awake now, because I’ve got work to do, and the cold, gloomy, rainy weather is making me feel snoozy. Again! XD

Oh, and today’s the first day of the implementation of the Cyber Crime Law. Wonder what happens next?

Renewed Day by Day

I had a good sleep last night; as if I haven’t had any good sleep for ages! Of course, I have to do what I’ve promised, “Stand and watch until dawn,” and greet my Creator with a happy smile on my face, telling Him that this day is His. It’s my routine now, but I never managed to have a good doze-off until today. Literally today, for I slept at one and woke up almost ten!

Yes, ten hours of good sleep! I should really take in my vitamins before I snooze. Very effective

Did I tell you I revamped my room last Sunday and Monday, only to bring it back to how it was before? I guess I am comfortable with much bigger space than to have my room in a new look. It was perfect just as it was, well, without the mess and cobwebs!

• Finally! I was able to snag Den’s demo of his song yesterday, and it gave me peace. No, it’s not the kind of song that gives you chills or whatever. Just peace. So whatever he says with those words, those must be really true to him. I’m transcribing it later when I find the time, and I just smirk when I see in 白’s list of artist: Denyl Salonga.
• God told me a lot in my devotion yesterday. This part of 2 Corinthians is among my favorite, for these were the verses I took heart from when my ninang died. I almost highlighted the three chapters, 4-6. My verse board is almost filled! Oh, and He did emphasized on “Do not be yoked with unbelievers.” And I understand perfectly what this means. I have my answer… for a few of my questions.
• I have a grand time in prayer, all because I was continually finding needs to pray for. If I hadn’t any need, I know I would be content about everything. Thank God for letting me see holes and burdens, for this keeps me coming to Him. Last night, I prayed for our new house help, Aling Nida, who was going through a tough situation. I pray that God will let her stay, and through us, may she be changed, through counsels and blessings and friendship and faith.
• God told me I just need to be myself. Because myself is what He created me to be, not another person! So the shabby chic I am, I have to appreciate. I was made for a reason. A reason nobody else can fill in. You are created for a special purpose too! For He has, not just a plan, but plans for you, so that means many of ‘em!

As we look not to the things seen, but to the things unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Cor 4:18.